Taking a Chance on God by John J. McNeill

McNeill finished the book in 1974, but it took two years before his superiors in Rome would okay the publication of the book. The first step in that ministry was realized in 1976, with the publication of his landmark book, The Church and the Homosexual. That purpose was to bring God’s love to a deeply wounded gay and lesbian community. I was to carry on the struggle and not despair but trust that God was somehow allowing me to go through all this because their was a purpose in it.” “God would not take away my ‘thorn in the flesh.’ God’s grace would be sufficient for me, and that thorn would keep me humble. One night in the early ’60s he stood on the banks of Paris’ River Seine, contemplating suicide, when he experienced what he calls “a special grace from God.” He struggled with his identity as a gay man, and the compulsive acting out of sexual needs that filled him with shame, guilt and self-hatred. That feeling of forgiveness eluded McNeill early in his career as a Jesuit priest. As I prostrated myself in the ordination ceremony at Fordham, I was begging God in a sort of despair to forgive me.” I feared that if I admitted my orientation I would be denied ordination.

“I felt like a hypocrite because I was still in the and had never acknowledged my homosexuality to anyone. He was ordained into the priesthood in 1959, but says what should have been a moment of joy was instead one of deep despair.

In his new book Both Feet Firmly Planted in Midair: My Spiritual Journey, he recounts the 30 years he’s spent in ministry to gays and lesbians, and the struggles he had to face to even get his words out to the community. I wanted that kind of courage and replace my fear with a god of love.”Ĭourage is what McNeill was blessed with, in spades. I saw in that man’s face a god of love, and because of his confidence in God’s love he was ready to risk his life to feed a total stranger. That determined my decision to enter the priesthood. His response to me was the sign of the cross. The worker’s generosity would have cost him his life if a guard had seen it, McNeill pointed out. “He took a potato from the slop and tossed it to me.” “A European farm worker was mixing slop for the pigs and took pity on me,” McNeill’s voice took on a nostalgic tone as he spoke with Whosoever by phone from his home in Florida. The German forces had starved the soldiers and McNeill had withered away to a mere 80 pounds. His unit was captured by the Germans and forced to work on farms. He was only 17, and had enlisted in the Army to fight in World War II. John McNeill realized his calling to become a priest after sharing a pig’s dinner. Changing a God of fear into a God of love

Taking a Chance on God by John J. McNeill